Twinkies
by GopherGod
Summary: Two weeks since the ICCA finals. Since winning that trophy. Since telling her dad she would stay for the next year, admittedly mostly to stay with the other Bellas. One week and five days since she admitted just how much she cared about a certain redhead. A certain redhead that was going away very soon.
1. Chapter 1

"You're an idiot. You know that, right?"

Beca looked up from her laptop, surprised etched across her face. Jesse, sprawled across her bed, didn't even look up from his textbook.

"Be a little more specific," the girl prompted after a moment of silence, leaning back in her desk chair. They were alone in the dorm room; Kimmy Jin had already finished her finals and left for home. Beca had almost burst out laughing when she found out that home for her roommate was actually New Jersey. Ten different – although equally rude and quippy – cracks had jumped to the tip of her tongue at the time, but instead she let it go. Now she almost wished her glaring definitely-not-a-friend was here to keep Jesse from saying anything overwhelmingly stupid.

"She walks in graduation in two days. Then she's going to grad school. Grad school not here." Oh, that's what they were talking about. Again. Now Jesse did look up from his book, choosing to fix his knowing stare on Beca instead.

"I'm still working this out myself. Just give me a little time." It had been two weeks since the ICCA finals. Since winning that trophy. Since telling her dad she would stay for the next year, admittedly mostly to stay with the other Bellas. It had been one week and five days since she admitted just how much she cared about a certain redhead.

A certain redhead that was going away very soon. Beca fiddled with the pen in her hand, trying not to meet Jesse's gaze. He had been a good friend to her, and she knew he would continue to do so. When their relationship – if it could be called that – had ended quickly, but their friendship had managed to survive with very little scarring. So when the boy pointedly raised an eyebrow, she tried to push away her first instinct to smirk and deflect.

"I'll talk to her. I will. I just need to figure out what to say." She ran a hand through her hair and let out a long sigh. It was no surprise for her to find that confronting her feelings was not coming easily. "I can't ask her to stay," she pointed out, not managing to keep the tinge of sadness entirely from her tone. "And long distance has a tendency to make relationship lifespans not so long."

But Jesse wasn't letting her out of it so easily. He sat up and leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees. "Do you want a relationship with her? I mean, I know you like her, but are we talking aca-babies or screw-and-through?" The look on his face told Beca that he already knew the answer.

"Well, considering you proposed children less than a month after we meant, I'm not going to take that to mean anything serious," Beca said with a chuckle. "But, I can't do that to her. I can't make her feel all guilty for not pursuing something that is so automatically doomed."

"Good to know I'm talking to optimistic Beca today," Jesse muttered, but his friend was on her feet and pacing. He had been seeing this mood a lot. It had happened before when they talked about her dad and reaching out to him. It usually ended in some kind of absolutist statement about how relationships were all set with an expiration date, possibly some shouting, and definitely no way to get back to studying for a chemistry final he had in two hours.

"And what if you two are Twinkies?" That stopped her pacing instantly, out of confusion, if nothing else.

"Fattening, terrible for your health, bankrupt, and an analogy for the ghost apocalypse?" They had watched Ghostbusters the night before, Jesse taking as much advantage of the movie-appreciating grace period as he could.

"You last forever," he clarified. "No matter how long you're put into storage, or left to the side, or forgotten about, you can always come back to it and it's as fresh as day one." Beca didn't look convinced, but Jesse rushed on anyway. "You can't know until you tell her. You want to be with her. Don't you owe her the chance to make her own decision as well?

"Maybe you're right. Maybe she doesn't want a relationship, or thinks the distance will be too much. Or maybe you're wrong. Maybe you're Twinkies."

"I feel like I should be offended somewhere in here," Beca muttered cautiously, but the boy had given her something to think about. She sat back down at her desk, scowling at the paper she had been working on. At this point she didn't have a single care to give to analyzing the economic factors that sparked the communist revolution of the USSR. But the paper deadline was even closer than the Chloe deadline, and if Beca was really going to stay here, she had to at least pass her classes. Seeing that the girl was going to say no more on the topic of her redhead dilemma for the time being, Jesse shifted back to his studying as well. Covalent bonds were kicking his ass.

An hour and a half later and still neither had spoken beyond the occasional cursing out of their respective assignments. Jesse was on his feet stretching the kinks from his neck as he got set to walk over to the testing center. "Will you still be here after my test?"

Beca looked up from her now-lengthened paper blearily. "I'll walk with you as far as the center," she offered, packing her laptop rapidly. "I will go Stalin on this campus soon if I don't get some coffee. Find me at the Café when you're through." She locked the door behind them, catching a glance of her single photo displayed on her desk right before the door closed entirely. It was the Bellas, just after their big win. Beca stood with Aubrey on one side of her, looking as happy as Aubrey could ever look. On the other side was Chloe, red hair all pushed over one shoulder, her arm cast casually around Beca's shoulder. She had been smiling ecstatically and Beca had found it next to impossible not to keep staring at the woman. It was a wonder the photographer had gotten a frame without Beca looking like an absolutely love-struck puppy.

"...and then Bruce Willis is all Yippee Ky Yay – " Jesse broke off in the middle of his recount of Die Hard, grabbing Beca's shoulder just before she walked into a branch low enough for even her to run into. The girl startled out of her thoughts with a blink and negotiated around the offending tree.

"You need to talk to her," Jesse repeated stubbornly.

"And you need to focus on your chemistry test, Christian Bohr," Beca countered through a yawn. They parted their path, leaving Beca to actually have to focus on her own path for fear of encountering any more attacking trees.

At the Café Beca found just the person she needed to talk to, although she hadn't realized it until she saw her. Aubrey Posen sat in one of the booths along the side wall, a cup of tea in front of her and scribbling away on a notepad. Suddenly wide awake, Beca skipped the coffee ordering and slid in across from Aubrey.

"What're you working on," she asked tentatively. She and the blond were on much better terms now, but there was still a largish part of her that braced for a verbal attack. But Aubrey just looked up with a tight smile and set her pen down.

"Just trying to sort out Chloe and my budget for next year. We'll have an apartment, which means utilities as well as rent to pay for. And grad school is even more expensive and time-consuming than college."

"I guess they figure this place has acclimated you to the suffering and now you're ready for the next level," Beca offered with false cheer. She kept forgetting that Chloe and Aubrey were going to schools close enough to each other that they were getting a place together. Part of her was jealous. Not of their relationship – Beca guessed she and Jesse would be the same some day – but rather the fact that Aubrey could go with Chloe.

"When are you two leaving again," Beca asked innocently. She knew the answer all too well, but she could hope against hope that something had changed.

"Day after graduation." No change. Beca sighed and nodded dejectedly. She glanced around the shop as if it would provide her with answers, but none announced themselves.

"You'll be in the audience, right," Aubrey asked. "Chloe said she meant to text you about getting there early to get the seats close to the exit, but her phone was dead." Beca smiled slightly, glad for the tip. She hated getting trapped in crowds all rushing for the same door at once. Seniors got to leave through a different path, but she was a lowly audience member, which mean it was in the sardine can for her.

"Is that all she's said about me recently," she fished hopefully. When no answer came she looked up to find Aubrey regarding her sympathetically. "Would it matter," the older woman asked cautiously. Beca's mouth worked silently for a moment before surrendering to just a shrug.

"I should grab some coffee," Beca said at last, giving Aubrey the chance to bail. But the blond did no such thing. She just nodded and went back to looking over the budget calculations. By the time Beca had returned with her caffeine, Aubrey looked just plain impatient.

"Look, Beca," she started. "Chloe is my friend, and I worry about her. I mean, you're just a kid barely used to college and the pressure not to cheat would be too much. I can't have her crushed because you had to enjoy your college experience some. No." She raised a hand to stop Beca from interrupting. "No, let me just say this. I like you Beca. And I think you and Chloe could have been good together. But a relationship is about building trust and being with each other. Once that foundation is there, sometimes the distance can be safe. Once you know, not just in your heart and mind, but in every fiber of your being, that there is nothing worse losing them. I'm not saying you're a bad person or disloyal, but that foundation isn't there yet."

Beca looked down at the table, knowing all too well that Aubrey could be right. She had just barely learned how to open up to people enough to form friendships. How could she know what else would happen in the three years she and Chloe would be apart? She nodded, no sarcastic deflection of witty remark there to soften Aubrey's words or the feeling that she would lose Chloe for good.


	2. Chapter 2

She wasn't sure how long she sat there. Eventually Aubrey murmured some words of comfort and left. Her coffee went untouched as it cooled to room temperature. She still sat there when Jesse arrived, a dozen complaints about his final ready to throw her way. The look on her face stopped them all. So her friend took the seat Aubrey had previously occupied and slowly coaxed the conversation from the girl.

"Well, would you?" He asked finally.

"Would I what," Beca muttered into her drink.

"Would you cheat on her?"

"No." The defense was fast and firm, the thought too much to bear. Her grip had tightened angrily around her mug and she glared up at the boy.

"Well, there you go," was all he said. "Talk to her. Don't be afraid to live your life, Beca. That's what it's there for."

She knew he was right. Just like she knew Aubrey was right. She had the power to seriously hurt Chloe and that was the scariest thing in the world, but what if it did work? "What do I do," she asked Jesse pleadingly.

"Well, a grand romantic gesture is probably out of the question," the boy decided quickly.

"Hey. I dedicated our first place national song to your favorite movie. I think that counts as romantic."

"And then forty-eight hours later you told me you were pretty sure you were gay. So, no. Doesn't count." He was never going to let that part go, was he?

"I should talk to her after graduation. I don't want to ruin that part of her day if this gets messy." Oh wow, her heart was hammering just at the thought of this plan.

"You need to talk to her sooner than that," Jesse insisted with a shake of his head. "You need to allow at least, say, thirty-six hours between full confession and Chloe getting in the airport security line for when you mess it up."

"Thanks for the confidence there, bud," the girl snarked.

"Come on, have you met you? There is no way this goes time smooth first try. I promise you, you will say something wrong, or misunderstand something she says, it will turn into a confrontation, you'll run away and you'll need that buffer time to get your shit together and straighten everything out."

"Again," Beca said flatly with a thumbs up, "confidence."

"Call her," Jesse ordered. "Now. Invite her to dinner or something and talk to her tonight."

"Her phone's dead," Beca remembered.

"Surprise visit to the apartment it is then," her friend announced. "I'll drive."

"You don't have a car, Jesse. We take the bus to get there."

"Yes."

"You are not driving the bus."

"No, but wouldn't that be awesome." Beca couldn't help but laugh at her friends antics as they walked to the bus stop, trying to stop the pit of fear that slowly rooted itself in her stomach.

The apartment complex Chloe and Aubrey lived in wasn't far from the other dorms, but it was on the other side of campus from the Café, so Beca had plenty of time to realize just how stupid this plan was. Less than ten minutes into the bus ride she turned to Jesse. "I can't do this," she said frantically.

Jesse gripped her shoulder comfortingly. "Yes," he said firmly. "You can. Remember, this is why you need a buffer zone. You have room to screw up, so there is not excuse for stalling." She nodded and drew in a shaky breath. Twice more during the ride she almost bolted and each time Jesse talked her down. By the time they stood at the building door, the boy had fixed a permanent grip to her to avoid having to chase her down the street.

"I'm going to stay out here," he said, slowly letting go of the girl. "So you two can talk in private. If Aubrey is there, tell her dinner is on me if she comes downstairs." Beca raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh, make no mistake, dinner is on you for both of us, the other version is just an easier sell. And if you don't update me via text within fifteen minutes, I will assume you both are finally dealing with that sexual frustration on every flat surface available."

And with that she was through the door and heading up the stairs. Their apartment was on the fifth floor, but the stairs would take longer than the elevator and gave her another few seconds to think. But all too soon there she was, standing at the door. Her fist raised and knocked, almost against her own will.

"One moment," a voice called from the other side, accompanied by shuffling and a muttered curse. A second later Chloe was opening the door. "Hey, Beca," she exclaimed happily, moving to let the smaller girl in. The apartment was almost stripped bare and boxes were piled in a corner, each labeled in either Chloe or Aubrey's handwriting.

"Can we talk," Beca asked nervously, her mouth dry. Chloe nodded, concern creeping into her grin. Aubrey appeared in the doorway to her room, shooting Beca a pointed glance. She tried to ignore it.

"Aubrey, Jesse wanted a moment with you. He's downstairs and says if you talk to him he'll buy you dinner." Beca's voice was weak and pleading and she knew just how clear it was that the request was a way to get Chloe alone. Nevertheless, Aubrey nodded stiffly and walked by. As she passed Beca she murmured, "if you ever hurt her, you will answer to me." Beca nodded shakily and she was gone.

"What's wrong?" Chloe was really concerned now as she and Beca both sank onto the couch.

"I may make a mess of this, so just let me say it, okay?" Beca clasped and unclasped her hands, trying to find the words to start. She had been practicing in her mind on the way over here, but now when she tried to start, nothing happened. Chloe reached forward and grasped her hands until they were still.

"You can tell me anything. You know that." Beca nodded, accepting the contact gratefully. After a few more tries, she finally blurted out, "I think you may be my Twinkie." The redhead looked at her in surprise, about to say something before she remembered Beca's request and stayed silent.

"What I mean is, see, relationships, they go bad eventually. Always. Some seed of rot gets in there and eats the thing alive until it's nothing but a brown mess that needs to the thrown out so something new can try. That's just – it's how it is. But, have you ever seen a rotted Twinkie? They're indestructible." Beca could feel herself digging her own grave deeper and deeper with each word, but she couldn't stop.

"I like you, Chloe. Really like you. I know you're graduating and leaving and going far away and probably don't want anything so complicated, but I had to tell you. I mean, Jesse made me, but I had to. If there's going to be an expiration date, please just tell me and we'll toss it. Never happened, all gone. You'll be able to move on with your life and I with mine. But if you think – if it's possible we could try something, I want to."

At first Chloe said nothing. Beca couldn't look up, couldn't meet those eyes, Couldn't see the disgust, or pain, or regret that was surely so clearly expressed in them. At last Chloe drew the hand that cupped Beca's away, only to place it gently under her chin to tilt it up. And, for the first time, Beca couldn't read Chloe's face.

She leaned in and rested her forehead against Beca's before taking a breath. "You're an idiot. You know that, right?" The playful way she said it made Beca almost laugh with relief.

"It's been pointed out to me," she agreed.

Before she could say anything further, she found Chloe's lips on hers. The kiss was hesitant at first, like both were afraid the other would run. Neither did and the passion became more urgent. Beca found herself pushed back onto the couch, this gorgeous redhead on top of her, each of them unable to linger on any one sensation too long before they were finding something else to touch. Somewhere in the haze Beca realized fifteen minutes had passed. She hadn't texted Jesse.

It would be such a shame to disappoint his expectations.


End file.
